January 18th, 2006
|03:26 pm - get me out!!!!|
i leave in a week and a half for london and i cannot wait...im really really excited!! but i have so much stuff that i need to do and its so overwhelming because i still have to buy a ton of things for the trip plus i have to figure out what i need to pack and how much stuff i can take and everything like that and its not going to be even a little bit easy but hopefully jackie will come home so she can help me and what not.
katies coming up this weekend and im really happy cause i havent seen her in forever, or at least it feels that way sometimes, but it sucks because shes really only going to be here for a total of a day and that sucks i still think that she should make jon call into work because that way she wont have to get up here so late and i think she should get here as fast as humanly possible but hopefully it will be a good time!! we're going to duffs and we're gonna be stupid and its gonna be a good time
i really wanna see the new world because it looks really good and i figure i should go see at least one movie before i leave because i wont be doing that while i am away in london i think i might have to make jackie come with me to that
so i feel sooo cheated right now and it really sucks i could have had a boyfriend right now and becuase of a certain someone i dont yep and it really sucks because i really liked this guy a lot and now i just feel cheated blaaahhhhhhhhhhhh
i dont really have that much to say..........
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: big and rich
December 13th, 2005
|11:02 am - please get me ouuuuuuuuut!!!!!!!|
Im waiting for my papers to print out that I needed to hand in yesterday....oops! but i talked to my professor and he doesnt care as long as I get them in today before noon! the stupid computers werent working yesterday so I couldnt print them out and Im still on strike at home because my mother used all my ink for my printer on stupid stuff after i told her not to because ink was expensive so ne who im still waiting for my ink!
london is only 6 or 7 weeks away!! i am soooo excited...i cant wait to be there and to travel everywhere and i get to go to dublin for st pattys day!! yay!! i cannot wait i get to drink with the irish on st pattys day....kerry said that in dublin there is a 5 day celebration yay!! exciting for me!! and im going to go everywhere that i possibly can....i wanna go see the sound of music home and i wanna go to greece and i wanna go to france and everywhere! and im excited for the trip kerry and i are going to take at the end its gonna be so much fun! we're going to italy and germany and poland and france and austria its gonna be sooo awesome!
so im done with school....thank god and i got a 4.0 this semester go me! i really like psych but it still scares the crap out of me that im not exactly sure what i want to do with it. i have been thinking about going into biopsych or something like that maybe do behavioral neuroscience i dunno...i have a question how come the i before e except after c rule doesnt apply for science? ne one know?....but im gonna go to nyc for my masters and then see about getting my phd i figure i should take baby steps and see what it is i really like NYU has a good program for general psych so that you can really figure out what you like the best and then yuo can go get yuor phd and you get experience in research for every field but i dont think i wanna do research but then again i may end up really liking it so who really knows..honestly as long as im in nyc or more specifically manhatten i dont really care what im doing! only a year and a half and then i should be there as long as i do well in school and on my gres which i dont even know when im supposed to even take those oh well. i think i can take them in like august or something like that who knows.
im going to NU sometime this week to say goodbye to the girls...im gonna miss them while im away next semester but ill still see kelly! i cant wait to see them again!! and hopefully katie will get up here around the 17th of january so that i can see her cause i miss her like crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
last nite kerry and i watched the astronaust wife and i dont understand why women with small breasts always have their nipples showing in movies...its quite distracting and unnecessary oh and donny jepp looks REALLY REALLY hot when hes all evil...you dont know whether you wanna run from him or run to him and do bad bad things
my papers are ready............
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: printers
November 2nd, 2005
|09:21 pm - craziness|
So I have been doing some thinking lately about med school and grad school and such because I was recently reminded that college is almost over with. Ive been thinking about going to med school and stuff instead of grad school and wondering whether or not I made the right choice, not about changing my major but changing my mind about going to med school....i have taken all the classes that I need to take for med school and all I have to go is take the mcats which entails studying my ass off and I thought about it and I could always take the mcats in august instead of this coming april because i dont want to take them in london because that would ruin my experience there...but i would have to relearn EVERYTHING and that really sucks i hate it that they make you take all these classes too early so u dont remember anything so im not really sure what im going to do but i think that im thinking about med school again because its something that has a path and everything would already be laid out for me, when im done with med school i go and do a residency and then an internship and then after those i already have a job somewhere and i wont have to worry about what i wanna do for the rest of my life. with psych i go to grad school, i have to write a thesis and defend it to a panal and then i leave school and am left to do whatever and i know that there are internships out there and i can make connections and stuff but how do i go about setting up my own practice and stuff like that i dont want to have to figure that out ya know and i think thats why im thinking med school again because im just too scared to not know and how cool would it be to dissect bodies and everything lol and i already have letters of recommendation...i have two so far sent in, i can easily have the third in by the end of the semester and all i need is to take another science course and get a letter from my professor, i have a job in the medical field and i do enough volunteering and what not so i have all that..all i need is the mcats and figuring out how i am going to explain why i am applying late to med school oh and then of course we have to see if my gpa is good enough but after thinking of all this i know med school is not going to make me happy its just that i feel like a failure for not going and my parents think that i just gave up because i got a c on one test and i dunno im so confused it sucks
someone please make the decision for me!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dunno i think its just me questioning myself again and again like i always do
on a happier note i am going to nyc the day after thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!! im sooooooo excited....me kerry and my mom are going as my xmas present and im soooo happy and i dont even care that the money isnt going towards london casue im still getting money because new york is my favorite place ever and its the best xmas present and i cannot wait to go!! but i feel bad cause kerry is going to miss time with her family and i feel like she has no choice to go because my mom already got the ticket......but we shall have a good time because its nyc nad its the best place on the entire planet! and im so happy that im going and that i get to see it when its all wintery and pretty and that i can go before i go to london and then me and kerry can go in the summer by ourselves again...im so excited for nyc that i almost cant wait to get back from europe just so that we can go there and have the best time ever! we can go see our italian waiter and armani exhange guy and go to all the shops and walk around and go ice skating in rockafeller center and yay!! i cant wiat and of course there will be some stalking because he has to be there right!! i absolutely cannot wait!!!!
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: this i promise you...nsync
October 11th, 2005
|07:02 pm - I want things back the way they were|
Today when I dropped off Jackie at school I started thinking about how much fun I had at NU and how much i miss everyone. I started wishing that I never made the stupid decision to leave. We all had so much fun there and I wish it could go back to the way it was. I wish that me and katie never left and that all of us were still good friends like we were in freshman year....although maybe some of that was fake but still i miss it. now i never really get to see anyone from NU because everyone, including myself, is just really busy. And I feel bad when they have to come here because i feel like its boring and stuff like that but i dunno what i miss the most though is katie.....i really wish that she didnt leave even if i left i wish she didnt because its not good that shes not here...freshman year it was me, katie, and jackie all the time nad it was so much fun and i know shes having fun over in new hampshire but i just miss it....im sad that everything changed and nothing is the way it used to be and i know thats a part of life but i wish that i didnt leave and that i didnt change things for just that four years because i hate thinking back and missing things and thinking that i regret everything i have done since freshman year of college and its not that i regret it, its just that i miss it and i got nostalgic when i think about NU and all the fun that I had there or when I look at the pictures from there i dunno im not describing how im feeling right now but all i know is that i miss everyone alot and i wish things could go back to the way that they were and i wish that i didnt feel this way becuase i havent felt like this in a long time because im actually having a decent year at UB and im meeting more people and stuff and im really busy with work and school but i dunno i want to get involved more and things like that but yeah im nostalgic today a lot! i think the fact that its mos birthday that kinda got me in this mood because i probly wont be there cause i dont know whats going on ya know? i dunno cant really express it i guess
ne who bad news yanks are out of the playoffs stupid arod was awful and he sucks and they should get rid of him and they need to KEEP joe torre cause i love him
im going to lodnon!!! yay! im so excited ooo and i get to go to bon jovi too! yay!
i just want everyone to know that i miss them like crazy!
Current Mood: nostalgic
Current Music: matchbox 20...push
September 20th, 2005
|04:10 pm - every long lost dream|
im so mad right now and i hate it because it's making me cry and i have never cried because i was mad before nad it really sucks plus im sick on top of it! I am so mad at my mom right now. Today she came home and said "how much money do you have in your savings account?" and i told her that i had a little over $3000 in there and she said "oh good cause i think im making you pay half of your tuition bill because im probly getting about a $4000 one from NU and if I knew that then I wouldnt have spent money on the kitchen and siding for the hosue." So now I might be stuck paying for my tuition and then she said to me "you should have been filling out a stafford loan for school" like it was my fault that i wasnt filling one out when i dont even know what it is in the first place. and i dont wants to sound like a spoiled brat or anything but why does she always do this i dont have money to pay for tuition i mean i do but i was excited becuase i had all that money saved for london and i was going to have a lot more by the time i went so that i could travel and plus i still have to get my round trip ticket which is about $600 and my passport and then there are thinsg we have to pay for when we get there like food and books so now i dont know if i can go to london because i am not going to have a lot of money and plus i wanted to travel and when i told her that now i dont know if i can go to london because of this she said "oh well im sorry but you might not be able to go" and im so angry because its the one thing that i have always wanted to do and i have never done anything else like this and jackie got to go to florida and tommy got his apartment and car insurance and everything else under the sun paid for and the one thing i want to do i might not be able to do because she got the kitchen and siding done on the house. i worked so hard to save all that money so that i could go to london and then so that i could have some sort of cushion when i left school and had some money to fall back on when i had to start paying back my loans and now its all going to be gone it would be so different if i had already known this when school started but the deal was that they were going to pay for what they could and we were taking out loans which is fine and i understand that but i dont understand why she needs to spring it on me now like this when i have all these plans for going to europe and i would have been saving my money a lot more and better if i knew this was coming and she treats it like its my fault that i wasnt filling out stafford loans because im supposed to know everything and here she is going on a trip to london and im just so angry why does she get to go to london for fun and i cant go to study this sucks she always does this with money she expects us to pay for everything with money that we dont have and i just dont understand her and i dont know when she got like this she never used to be this way with money and i cant even explain what im trying to say but i feel like she thinks we are made of all this money and she just doesnt get what it is to be a college student and have no money or have some money but not enough to pay for school and all the necessities she just doesnt get it does she and she never will because thats how she is and i will never forgive her if this means that i cant go to london i mean i know that people have fone to study abroad and had no money before but i dont want to do that because it makes me feel vulnerable or like im not going to be able to support myself over there and seeing as how she isnt even going to help me pay for london i dont know how im going to do this and i will be so angry at her for spending money so she can go to london and ireland for her vacation and i cant go to further my education i will be so angry i wish i never stayed at home i wish i just went to nyc for undergrad and never came back
Current Mood: angry
Current Music: time if your life ~green day
September 7th, 2005
school started and so far i like my classes except that abnormal and personality are boring so far cause all we are learning about it stupif rsearch methods and the history of abnormalities but other than that i love my classes but im tired all the time cuase im not used to waking up at 7:30 in the morning anymore and it's exhausting
so hopefully i am going to london...i just have to get accepted into the program which hopefully should not be a problem because you only need a 2.5 in order to go and i have way above that but im so excited to go and see london and se europe and stalk tony blair and orli and jude and meet lots and lots of new people and cute english guys with bad teeth....hopefully there are some with good teeth...but i cannot wait and i just bought a laptop so that i can go and its gonna be so much fun!
i went up to NU last weekend and saw everyone and it was so much fun! i had a wonderful time...got a little tipsy but thats ok...but i dont know how extremely drunk people walk back and forth from canada because i could barely respond to the lady when she asked me whatever question it was that she asked me but nonetheless i made it through ok....i get to see everyone again in two weeks for the yankees game!! yay i cannot wait to go with jacks, kel and nito and plus tommy and emry are going which should be a good time
i feel like this semester is going to be much better than the entire last year was i dont know why but i just think its going to be and im excited about it and i decided that im not going to be in depressed moods anymore and stuff like that at least about school...i know a lot more people and im much more comfortable at UB now so hopefully things will be good
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: you and me~lifehouse
August 23rd, 2005
|10:55 pm - happy happy|
IM GOING TO LONDON!! well at least i think i am i still have to be accepted but yay im going to london!! and then kerry and i and jackie are gonna backpack through europe afterwards!! im sooo excited and soo happy lately which is really good cause i havent felt this happy in a long time yay me!! and im going to another yankees game to see my boyfriend yay!! and im actually excited about school and the classes that im taking and im not going to med school and i feel like this tremendous weight has been lifted off my shoulders and i feel free and happy and i heart danny!! yay!!
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: crazy for you ~madonna
August 14th, 2005
|03:54 pm - copycat|
10 years ago – i was 10 with glasses and really firzzy hair!
5 years ago – I was 15 and dreaming of leaving highschool
1 year ago – i was stupid and started going to UB
yesterday – i had dacaries(cant spell it) with kerry and her mom
tomorrow – sleeping late and going to work
5 snacks I enjoy – ice cream, cookies, chocolate, potato chips, candy
5 bands/artists that I know the lyrics to most of their songs – our lady peace, nsync, dixie chicks, incubus, christina aguilera
5 things I would do with a $100,000,000 – go on a huge shopping spree, buy a big apartment in nyc on the upper west side facing central park...in cash, pay off any loans, travel around europe, give people presents
5 locations I would like to run away to – nyc, europe, australia, hawaii, caribbean
5 bad habits I have – picking at my lips, chewing on my finger nails, liking the unattainable, worrying all the time, not getting enough sleep
5 things I like doing – sleep, watch movies, read, exercise, eat
5 things I would never wear – fish net stockings, trashy sex clothes, straight leg jeans, big scrunchies, big hats
5 t.v. shows I like(d) – desperate housewives, real world, gilmore girls, friends, will and grace
5 movies I like – finding neverland, the godfather, lord of the rings, sixteen candles, shakespeare in love
5 famous people I would Like to meet – ummm derek jeter so i can marry him, kerrys gardner....jesse metcalfe, brad, orli, johnny
5 biggest joys at the moment - seeing the yankees last weekend, going to london in the spring, my comfy new blanket, my doggies, friends
5 favorite toys – ummmm barbies, my little pony, carebears(not really toys but oh well), board games, hmmmmmm and computer
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: reacing
August 10th, 2005
|10:58 am - my boyfriend loves me!!|
just got back from toronto for the weekend and it was a good time!
saturday we got there and went to the first yankees game.....we saw batting practice and what not and derek definitly saw me! and oh yeah i fainted yep that was fun but the game was good except for the fact that randy johnson sucks the hotel desk clerk was an ass to us but the hotel was actually really nice and the room was pretty big for five people and then we went to dinner and got some drinks and then we went to a club and partied with people that were our parents age which was absolutely hilarious because they're all soo funny and our fun chinese guy with his hot dance moves yep he was the best! and all the older guys looking at us like they had never seen young people before but oh so fun
sunday kerry and i went to another game and there was no batting practice BUT during the game we snuck down and walked to the front when jeter was in the batters box and stood right behind him and took a bunch of pics and then i stuck my head in the dug out just to see everyone and then gary scheffield put his hand on the edge which freaked me out BUT we were sooooo close to derek it was cool and i think he saw me yet again i think that after this trip he really is wondering about me because he soooo loves me and is obsessed with me and needless to say he had a major adjusting problem during the game on sunday oh and yeah we got a pic of arod picking a wedgie!
but all in all it was a good time now its time for me to watch dawsons!
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: airsupply ~all out of love
July 20th, 2005
|10:28 am - new york state of mind|
new york was crazy fun!! i wish i never left and that i had that apartment forever and i could just keep on living there i dont know if i can wait 2 more years for med school/grad school
we got there..or i got there...at 11:30 and we took a cab to the apartment ..boo for car sickness...the apartment was awesome..it was 2 bedrooms, two bathrooms, a living room, dining room and kitchen..i'll get to the bugs later but it has a bunch of nice furniture and stuff in it but it could also use a lot of work cause there were holes and the bathrooms werent that clean but who cares we didnt have to pay anything and it was on the upper west side about 3 blocks from central park!
tuesday, after we finsihed unpacking, we walked crosstown through central park adn then walked down 5th avenue and we went into all the designer stores and we went into tiffanys and picked out our engagement rings, then we went into times square and shopped for a bit and walked around..jackie got to go on her ferris wheel in toys-r-us and i got a new shirt but we basically walked around times square and we ate in a deli down one of the side streets and "window shopped" as jackie likes to call it which was basically watching people walk by and then we walked home...all 30 something blocks (yes we walked there too basically everyday we walked tons and tons) and we watched some tv and went to bed it was a looong day
wednesday we went down to the village and walked around for a while and sat in washington square park for a bit and then kerrys friend from school rebecca and her friend kathy came up and we went to soho and shopped...jackie got some shirts and i got some pants and old navy flip flips(6 pairs)...and then we went into chinatown and rebecca got a coach purse and i got a burberry one and kerry got two for her mom and then we went over to little italy where we ate dinner with our hot italian waiter who is kerrys back-up plan if she isnt married by 28..then we got STALKED..some guy was following us around so we had to go into armani exchange where we met my back up plan...such pretty blue eyes he was hot!!..and then we walked around for a little more and then we headed back home...while we were home jackie let out a scream in the bathroom and that is when we met stalin...our friend the cockroach...he was the first one we say but we kept him under the toilet brush thingy because thats where he went but it was hilarious becuase kerry and i were screaming bloody murder funny i never thought i would be like that but when we saw it we ran like little girls but we thought it was dead so we went to sleep
thursday we sat in central park for a few hours after we walked 2 miles out of our way to find the zoo only to not go in it..so we sat and people watched and fernando, rashawn, and apu played music for us (random guys in the park playing music) and we named some of the kids...sid was mine, princess sophia was kerrys, wilhelm was the upper east side brat, chuck the kid with long hair, brad and leo who stood on a big rock, and billy the bully who is self explainatory. then we went to the met which was nice we made it through in like an hour go us!! and then we went and laid down and took a nap in the park and then went home and made mac-n-cheese that night we probly took a walk or something
friday we went back to times square so i could get my yankees sweatshirt from modells and we went to see charlie and the chocolate factory which was soo weird but sooo amazing! and we ate at stage deli..i had the derek jeter sandwich..our waitress hated us why i dont know but she did..she wasnt the most friendly new yorker but hey what can ya do and after the deli we went and sat at rockafeller center and ate the biggest piece of cheesecake ever!! and then we walked home down 8th and saw the opera house and just new york things
saturday was our day to do nothing we watched hbo on demand all day long but we did go out to get starbucks and pizza and then at night we went for a long walk and we got a few comments from some guys cause im sure we looked awesome in our pjs!
sunday we walked almost the entire island..from 82nd street all the way into the financial district(which us more than 100 blocks) jackie said that if she had known that we walked that much she wouldnt have walked it and then we went back to soho and chinatown for more purses which was a little sketchy because the kept taking us to these buildings and locking the all the doors and what not but i ended up with a louis and i got my mom a burberry and kerry got two coach purses..we didnt see our armani exchange boy though wish we did cause he was yummy we went back to times square to see if there were any shows we wanted togo to and their werent so we went back home
monday we walked around in central park again and we sat in poets walk which was pretty and listned to a guy play the sax then we went and ate chinese with chop sticks and then we went to see movin out..the billy joel musical...and it was soooo awesome!! we walked home singing billy joel and dancing people kept laughing at us but it was fun and then when we were back at the apartment we met our friend the cockroach yet again but this time there was another one so we killed the second one that we saw and then we tried to kill the one that we had traped under the toilet brush thingy but he escaped and got under our bed so we were on the floor with flash lights and broomsticks trying to get it to come out so that we could kill it but we never found it again so hopefully it went and died somewhere
that night kerry had a dream about the escaped cockroach and she named it eddie in her dream so she didnt know if she could kill it anymore so i took the liberty of naming it hitler because anyone can kill hitler and then we named the first one we saw stalin and THEN we ran into another one and that one we named mao ze dong and we sqashed him...go us!!..and then a mini one was on kerrys arm and she killed it and named it president bush haha!
tuesday we packed and laid low and went out to dinner and i got a picture book of nyc from barnes and noble and then we had to rush out of the apartment because our flight was delayed like 10 hours so we got a new flight that was leaving earlier but then when we got to the airport that flight was delayed so we ended up leaving at the original time we were supposed to anyways
oh yeah i almost forgot when we were in soho on wednesday i had my hippie bag with me and i was walking down the street and some woman pointed to it and was like "that's great"..haha isnt that sooo awesome i love my hippie sac!
i did not want to leave nyc i wish i could go back cause buffalo seems so boring and dull compared to nyc and i cant wait to live there!!
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: scenes from an italian restaurant ~billy joel